you stare at blue above water enveloping, seeping, tugging golden gown down down becoming heavier and heavier. you breathe in earth as you become water, dreaming of ever afters broken. pretend at any moment a lover’s arms will save you from a watery death. But you are drowning, slowly, losing the battle to stay above murky depths. It becomes harder, your voice can’t call out. Dark forest is the only thing to kiss you good bye, Beautiful even in death.
Ophelia,
18 Monday Jul 2011
Posted in Uncategorized
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Stunning end… beautiful!
Thank you!
very elegant imagery,
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, my pleasure.
Beautiful poem. I love that you changed your header to fit the poem or was it the other way around? For some reason I love the weight of the succession of words: “Golden gown/down/down.” I’m enjoying your poetry posts.
Yes, I changed the header to fit the poem : ) I’m so happy to hear that you are enjoying the poetry that I’ve been posting. I love the freedom that poetry garners in writing.
Sad and dramatic all in one.
Yes, very much like Ophelia herself, I think. Thank you for reading and commenting : )
Chilling, hauntingly beautiful poetry. So glad to find your work.
Thank you, I’m glad to have you reading and commenting!
Great form. Clever construction. In the end, a very good piece of writing.
Thank you, Kim. I find that I like playing with the construction and form of a poem. It’s half the fun.
This leaks claustrophobia. Gorgeous.
Conor
Thank you, Conor. That’s just the effect I was hoping to produce…a feeling almost like drowning as the poem is read.
Very beautiful.
Thank you, Lisa.
Nice construction and liked the wave of the flow and words…great image words in form
…as you become broken….
Thank you
Thank you, Patricia. It’s lovely to hear positive feedback after experimenting with form. I get to do a little dance “It worked, it worked!” : ) Haha.
Unique style… Reading your poems is always a pleasure!
Thank you dearly, Seabell. That means a lot!
You breathe in earth as you become water
You captured the disorienting experience of drowning, and perhaps her state of madness, while creating empathy for Ophelia. Well done.
Thank you, Anna. Ophelia has long been one of my favourite paintings and I thought it was time a write a poem inspired by it.
Stunning ~~
Thank you, Becca : )
very readable. The short lines suit it perfectly.
Thank you, David!
Dark and beautiful!
Thank you, Dee.
I have always loved the story of Ophelia, I have poem about it myself on my journal. Exquisite poem =)
Very cool! Thanks!
How are you?
Welcome join us for week 6 short story slam fun,
Bless you..
Keep it up!
I’ve been very very busy! Thank you for the invite even though I missed it
A gorgeous interpretation of Ophelia. Haunting.
Thank you.
how are you?
hope all is well, missed your presence recently, blessings send your way.
enjoyed your creative work.
if possible, please join us for short story slam week 7 fun!
Thank you for dropping by. I’ve missed participating! Life has been busy.
though i am having a hard time shifting my eyes from left to right, the verses are nonetheless exquisite and elegant. very nice touch to the poetic form. it seems like her death resembles the death of virginia woolf. intriguing and i am thinking of her motive for doing so. maybe depression for something or someone. you have done it here, just great.
Thank you for your kind words. Have you ever watched the movie ‘The Hours’? It links Virginia Woolf with two other woman across time. It’s a beautiful, sad film.
Holy mackerel you were dead on there.
One of those rare moments when everything just falls into place! Thanks!